Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize