I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
