the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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