through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
