he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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