my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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