I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
