I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
