I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
4 words: hood of his car
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
