I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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