I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
