Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
