the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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