i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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