I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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