just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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