I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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