Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
