in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
