Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
