So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
