At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
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I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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