Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
