he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize