so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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