hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
