I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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