Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The air was thick with penises
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
