DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
