Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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