I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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