I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
