Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
