just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize