make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize