She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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