I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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