Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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