i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
