...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
