Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
