Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize