So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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