You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
