We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
