You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
