I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
