We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
