What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
