I'm so fucking centered right now
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
