Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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