This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
NoShamevember. You game?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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