the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
