My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
