Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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