Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize