You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
