i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
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I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
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There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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