After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
